Balloon
So I'm a bad person.
So I'm a bad person.
An unidentified narrator, probably Randall, says how he saw a kid with a balloon stand next to a ceiling fan in a restaurant. He explains how for fifteen minutes, he watched the kid's balloon, hoping the balloon would get caught in the ceiling fan and, as its cord became wound up, drag the kid up towards it. This looks like it could cause serious injury to the child and/or damage to the venue. The title text concludes that the narrator is now considering himself a bad person for hoping for this to happen. This might be a poke to people who think that waiting for a disaster to happen makes you a bad person like in 611: Disaster Voyeurism.
It is unlikely that the strength of the balloon rope and of the ceiling fan would be enough to lift the child.