Instructions
Happy little turtles
Happy little turtles
The comic displays just a small radio button (or option button). Once pressed the button turns blue and this starts the real part of this April fool's comic. The comic consists of an audio file. The speech is a mix of facts about turtles and coding instructions in LOGO. When executed, the instructions draw an xkcd comic. The audio file is 9 hours and 7 minutes long. Usually, there would be more than one radio button to give the user the ability to select options. Once it has been selected it cannot be deselected.
See the resulting comic below and an animation of the drawing process. This has been compiled by theinternetftw on GitHub.
- The transcript of the quotes (the non-code) can be found here 2601: Instructions/Audio Transcript.
- Images of the dynamic changes and other pictures relating to this comic can be found here 2601: Instructions/Images.
Once the voice begins describing the instructions, it is possible to mute the audio by pressing a muted button at the bottom right of the screen. This fades into view when the radio button is pushed. Pressing it will change the button to a non muted loudspeaker. These were the same buttons that were in the previous April fool's comic 2445: Checkbox. That was the first xkcd comic with audio, and thus these were two April Fools' Day comics with audio in a row, and these are the only comics with audio. In the Checkbox comic, the mute buttons meaning are reversed, so the sound is on when the loudspeaker is shown and muted when the mute button is shown. It could be another layer to the April fool's joke or just an error by Randall.
The image originally displayed on this page was of a small turtle crawling in the center where the radio button is in the real comic. That was the image that would be downloaded by web crawlers like explain xkcd's bot, as it is what was placed here on xkcd: https://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/instructions_2x.png. This is of course not the real comic, which cannot be downloaded in that manner.
The "turtle" is a key concept in Logo, a programming language especially designed to teach programming to children in an easy way. The turtle in the logo is the cursor. Programming commands move the turtle, drawing a line as it goes. Of course, listening to hours of instructions, including the speech-synthesized reading of source code, is not an easy way to code or draw a picture.[citation needed]
In addition, at the end of the audio the voice says:
I even talk to turtles at times, but you need to understand LOGO to appreciate the great, great things that have been created. We spend so much of our life typing, looking, but never ever seeing.The title text alludes to Bob Ross's catchphrase "happy little trees" in The Joy of Painting, a PBS TV show in which Ross leads the viewer through the painting of a nature scene. The audio file itself is also presented in the style of The Joy of Painting; it begins with greeting the viewer and introducing the color palette to be used (just one color, in this case, as Logo and all computer monitors of the time were monochrome). The speaker then reads out some helper functions to be used in programming the scene, which is more analogous to Ross's palette of paints (titanium white, carmine red, etc.) along with words of encouragement as each is completed. The functions are DIST, to calculate the Euclidean distance between two points, LERP, to perform linear interpolation, MIX to average two numbers (with LERP), and CUBIC to draw cubic Hermite splines. From there, the speaker alternates between sketching parts of the scene and offering more words of encouragement, mixed in with turtle facts.
Transcribing the audio into text was organized as a project on GitHub. This is not the first time that Randall made an interactive comic where turtles played a big part. In 1416: Pixels, he jokes with the idea of turtles all the way down, which is also mentioned in the audio file, and in 3074: Push Notifications, mapping out the coordinates sent via the notifications generates a pixelated drawing of a turtle and a squirrel. He also made a comic simply called 889: Turtles.
Resulting image
The image drawn by the Logo program is a depiction of Bob Ross standing in front of a canvas, on which he has painted "a happy little tree, holding up a happy little world". However, unlike his usual "happy little trees", the tree depicted is not a small pine, but rather a gargantuan World Tree growing from the back of a giant World Turtle, on which a Flat Earth rests. (The "happy little world" does bear several small pines more typical of his style.) Several ornaments hang from the World Tree, referencing the common practice of hanging ornaments on Christmas trees.
Near the middle of the world, a Cueball sits while listening to the radio, perhaps tuning in to the same transmission that generated the image. Closer to the reader, a turtle is shown walking around, leaving dotted-line tracks behind it, suggestive of the Logo turtle. The dotted-line tracks spell out "TY", shorthand for "thank you" (presumably directed to the readers).
At the far top right, a dotted line is shown past which the words "vacuum decay" are written. This is a hypothetical effect in which the universe, being in a metastable state, decays to a true vacuum, and the resulting annihilation of everything expands at the speed of light. As such, humans would have no idea if there were an approaching false vacuum until it arrived at Earth.
At the far left of the image, a robot and human are drawn next to a turtle which has flipped onto its back. The robot declares, "Poor thing!" while the human says "I'll help". This is a reference to the "empathy tests" employed to distinguish humans from androids in Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? and its film adaptation Blade Runner. As part of the test, the listener is asked to imagine being in the desert, flipping a tortoise onto its back, and refusing to turn it back over, while their eyes are monitored for signs of emotional response (or lack thereof). In this case, the robot expresses sympathy for the turtle and the human declares that he will turn it back over. (In this case, however, the robot is very clearly distinguishable from a human being.)
Facts
These are the facts told by the speaker.
Merriam-Webster defines a turtle as a noun. https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=569 Here are some interesting notes from interesting facts about turtles. https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=962 Over a great many years, I have taken a great interest in the land turtle. https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=973 One of the interesting points about turtles is their great variety of foods. https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=1415 in the pen and in five minutes it is surrounded by the turtles, https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=1976 when I found one of the large turtles had caught and disemboweled, the very large toad, https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=2648 I have seen turtles eating at 11:00 at night https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=2655 the youngest of turtles I have ever had seems to take to the same food as the adults https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=3506 I made friends with a turtle yesterday and he gave me his phone number. https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=4283 Running away is slow as compared to this turtle propulsion. https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=4522 Occasionally one can see a turtle dragging another one along https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=5370 I have never known a land turtle to bite https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=5382 Some people have turtles in their cellars believing that they catch rats and mice. https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=5853 I believe that these turtles died because they were exhausted https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=5879 and mice might be kept away by the noise made by the turtle making its endless https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=6151 But doubt whether a turtle could catch a rat or a mouse https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=6158 In this, the turtles would enjoy themselves https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=6437 How about some interesting things in 10 facts about marine turtles from the WWF UK. https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=6622 There are seven species of marine turtle. https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=6628 Marine turtles were around more than 100 https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=6632 These days, scientists recognize seven species of marine turtle, https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=6638 turtles do not have teeth. https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=6890 Turtle shells are made of over 50 bones fused together. https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=7064 The first few years of a marine turtle's life are known as the lost years. https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=7352 Marine turtle species vary greatly in size. https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=7654 Wales holds the world record for the largest marine turtle ever found https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=7675 1000 marine turtle hatchlings make it to adulthood. https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=8216 turtles seem to prefer red, orange, and yellow food. https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=10106 I'm beginning to suspect it's turtles all the way down https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=10403 marine turtles can migrate incredibly long distances. https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=10623 Marine turtles. https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=11365 move the turtle https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=11788 Here are some more interesting bits from interesting facts about turtles. https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=11913 several occasions with the turtle still in c. https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=12612 there is an artist in the bottom of everybody https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=12934 The number laid by a turtle varies https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=15403 I have also observed one turtle laying its eggs https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=15411 I had the pleasure of seeing six little baby turtles come out https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=16167 The turtle commenced to dig at six p.m. https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=16753 Five days later a second turtle dug these eggs out arid, https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=16760 personally. I do not believe that the turtle digging out. https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=16768 turtles a year factoid. Actually just statistical error, https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=16972 average person paints zero turtles per year https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=16976 turtles. Georg who lives in cave and eats over 10,000 each day https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=16980 The young turtles when they make their emergence at the end of three months, https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=17234 Do you know what A sea turtle's favorite sandwiches? https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=17526 Just ask the next sea turtle you meet. https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=17536 Here are some interesting observations from odd facts about turtles. https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=17639 It has been said that the turtle, https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=17647 In many ways. The turtle is one or the strangest of living things, https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=17943 But the turtle in all his varieties in all his ways is a most mysterious animal. https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=17961 Your turtle is neither fish, flesh nor fowl. https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=17979 a little turtle https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=18667 there is none so tenacious of life as the turtle https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=18986 Leave the turtle apparently undisturbed https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=18992 Just as soon as a baby turtle emerges from the egg off he scuttles down to the sea. https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=19273 The young turtle feeds unmolested while his armor undergoes the hardening process https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=19306 whatever the young sea turtle eats and wherever he eats it https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=19628 the turtle is free from all danger https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=19915 interferes with the turtle https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=19924 Cool facts about turtles from Deutsche Welle. https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=20499 There is a reason why turtles look a little prehistoric. https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=20506 Luckily for the turtles, they're burrowing and water-dwelling habits. https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=20527 While a turtle's lifespan largely depends on the species, https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=20926 A typical pet turtle can make it to anywhere between 10 and 80 years. https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=20935 Researchers think some turtles could even be hundreds of years old. https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=20949 There are currently 356 known species of turtles. https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=21629 There are sea turtles, leatherback turtles, snapping turtles, https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=21642 pond turtles, soft-shelled turtles, and of course tortoises, https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=21646 Not all turtles or tortoises https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=22175 but all tortoises or turtles. https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=22177 technically all tortoises are in fact turtles. https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=22181 But the main difference between turtles and https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=22192 while most turtles live in or near water https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=22198 Some turtles are vegetarians https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=22405 Most turtles are actually omnivores but a few species https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=22409 Not to the fearsome-looking alligator turtle https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=22421 Even water-dwelling turtles will dig their nests https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=22805 No species of turtle sticks around to raise their young. https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=22814 A turtle's gender is determined by temperature https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=23005 A turtle's gender is determined after fertilization. https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=23010 If the turtles eggs incubate below 27.7 degrees Celsius, https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=23015 turtles tend to give birth to more females https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=23037 Sea turtles are known for their amazing ability to return https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=23182 turtles can navigate their way at sea by https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=23190 turtles have strong underwater eyesight. https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=23618 Although sea turtles are famous for their internal GPS https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=23629 Six out of seven turtle species are classified as https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=23919 How about some interesting facts from turtle facts by Alina Bradford. https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=24214 turtles are reptiles with hard shells that protect them from predators. https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=24221 Turtles live all over the world in almost every type of climate https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=24233 the turtle order https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=24479 turtle, https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=24874 turtles spend most of their lives in water. https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=25251 Sea turtles rarely leave the ocean except to lay eggs in the sand. https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=25260 Freshwater turtles live in ponds and lakes https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=25266 With so many different types of turtle. https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=25760 The largest sea turtle species is the leatherback turtle. https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=25765 The largest freshwater turtle in North America is the alligator snapping turtle. https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=25788 The Yangtze giant softshell turtle is the largest softshell turtle. https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=25799 A turtle's shell is a modified rib cage and part of its vertebral column https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=26177 All the thoughts of a turtle are turtles and of a rabbit rabbits. https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=26401 So let's try to think like a turtle https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=26406 Many turtles are able to retract their heads and feet into their shells, https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=26450 turtles are placed in the two sub-orders based on the method of retraction. https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=26455 Sea turtles have lost the ability to retract their heads https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=26472 turtles are very adaptive and can be found on every continent except Antarctica. https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=26676 Most turtle species are found in southeastern North America and South Asia. https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=26681 sea turtles can be found in the coral triangle. https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=26844 what do you get if you cross a turtle with a giraffe, https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=26976 a turtleneck https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=26981 The African helmeted turtle is the most common turtle in Africa, https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=27157 roti island. Snake-necked turtles are found only on Rhode island. https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=27221 turtles are not social creatures https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=27393 while they typically don't mind if there are other turtles around them, https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=27396 Most turtles are active during the day, https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=27405 turtles are not silent creatures. https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=27537 Most turtles are omnivores. https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=27961 musk turtles eat mollusks, https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=27968 The cooter turtle is mostly vegetarian https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=27973 and the green sea turtle only eats grasses and algae. https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=27976 The alligator snapping turtle lures in fish with its tongue https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=28293 crayfish and other turtles. https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=28313 All turtles lay eggs. https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=28483 No species of turtle nurtures their young https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=28493 turtles reach the age to mate at different times. https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=28762 Male and female turtles intertwined their tails so https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=29117 sea turtles travel from the ocean to lay eggs on beaches. https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=29387 sea turtles lay around 110 eggs in a nest https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=29392 Though the flatback turtle only lays 50 at a time https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=29396 the temperature of the sand affects the sex of the turtle. https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=29661 Too many sea turtle females are being born https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=29673 according to the sea turtle. Conservancy https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=29679 Many turtle species are listed as threatened, https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=29984 I even talked to turtles at times https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=32815
