Planet Killer Comet Margarita
I'll take mine on the rocks, no ice.
I'll take mine on the rocks, no ice.
A margarita is a popular cocktail made from tequila, agave, triple sec, and lime juice. The frozen margarita variety is blended with ice, and this comic suggests making an enormous drink using the ice from a comet nucleus – the one depicted having more than a passing similarity to the much-studied 67P/Churyumov–Gerasimenko (but then if it is 67P/Churyumov–Gerasimenko, could you at least remove Rosetta (spacecraft) and Philae (spacecraft), please?). Based on the amount of ice in a typical comet, it extrapolates the quantity of the other ingredients. The mixed drink is big enough to fill Lake Mead, a massive reservoir on the Colorado River created by the water held by the Hoover Dam.
Beyond the unusual quantities and mixing method, Randall uses the general term "orange liqueur" here rather than specifying triple sec. Assuming that each oil tanker holds the same amount of liquid, the tequila: triple sec ratio in the comic is 4:1, meaning more tequila is used than necessary (the ratio should be 5:2).
Armageddon is a movie starring Bruce Willis about a team of astronauts and oil drill engineers on a mission to blow up an asteroid that's on a collision course with the Earth. The oil drill would be used to drill a hole deep into the asteroid, into which they'll drop a nuclear bomb to destroy it. The comic suggests using the same technique to explode the comet nucleus to get the ice. It should be noted that consuming any cocktail which has been infused with the radioactive byproducts commonly resulting from the detonation of a thermonuclear weapon may pose health risks which exceed those typically associated with the consumption of alcoholic beverages in general.[actual citation needed]
In the title text, he asks for it "on the rocks", with no ice. In the context of normal cocktails, "on the rocks" means to serve with ice. Here the cocktail is served from the drained basin of Lake Mead, which has rock as a substrate - hence "on the rocks." In addition, the comet nucleus contains lots of rocky material, so "on the rocks" with Randall's planet killer cocktail would also be served with literal rocks in it.
In the header, it says "Today's comic was drawn for Daniel Becker, based on his winning question submitted to the What If? 2 contest." As explained in the What If? entry melting a comet on Earth has enough negative effects on the climate to negate the cooling effect a couple of thousand times over – thus this margarita may proudly wear the title "planet killer".
Assuming an average oil tanker size of 25.8 million gallons, this provides approximately 1,700 servings of tequila per adult on the planet. Therefore it is a planet killer in terms of alcohol poisoning and killing off all humans of adult drinking age.