Cost Savings
Unfortunately, my scheme to trick NASA has now taken over a decade longer than planned and has run way over budget.
Unfortunately, my scheme to trick NASA has now taken over a decade longer than planned and has run way over budget.
This comic depicts a ridiculous scheme, concocted by Cueball, to dupe various representatives at NASA into doing a menial task for him. Specifically, he wants them to build an ordinary shed in his yard. The National Aeronautic and Space Administration (NASA) is not associated with hobbyist carpentry and certainly cannot be conventionally ordered to build a shed on a needy citizen's property.[citation needed] Thus, Cueball tries to circumvent the expected barriers to this outcome by masking his true intentions with a long-winded cost-cutting presentation about a proposed satellite launch. Initially, it appears he is suggesting various ways to mitigate the cost/hassle of launching a satellite into orbit. This starts with a lower orbit, which requires less fuel to reach and can bring significant savings per the rocketry equation. Lower orbits can bring challenges due to satellite crowding and (in the extreme case) atmospheric drag.
Cueball then suggests replacing the satellite with an "aerial platform" (most likely a plane that flies around with the equipment, but weather balloons, blimps, or even helicopters might count). While any atmospheric flight will require some recurring effort to steer and/or repeatedly launch the vehicle, this can cost less than a space launch and communication infrastructure needed to manage a satellite. The trade-off is that an aerial platform cannot stay up for years, like a satellite, and cannot see as much of the surface at a given time.
Cueball then suggest reducing the monitoring payload by moving some equipment to a ground location that receives data from the mobile equipment. Such a change might allow the platform to be a drone or balloon, either of which could go further with less weight. Cueball's last, unfinished sentence might be continued as "Additional savings could be achieved by reusing available property instead of buying land. In fact, I have identified a property with room for a structure which would not require any expense apart from construction." Depending on Cueball's level of focus on cost reduction, the end of this reasoning might even lead to "Ditch the satellite idea and just build a shed in my yard".
The title text expands on this theme by implying that Cueball has been attempting this scheme (which may have required extensive effort and connections for the NASA project team to even hear the initial red-herring proposal) for long enough that it mirrors the setbacks a team would experience if they were actually intending to send a satellite into orbit. The James Webb Telescope is one such mission which was very delayed, as already mentioned in prior comics, notably 2014: JWST Delays.
By taking "over a decade longer than planned", the actual time taken to (not yet) achieve his goal is far longer than would normally be expected to just build a shed without NASA's complicity, perhaps barring some particularly intransigent zoning laws. The actual delay is unknown, but must have been significant. Likewise, the personal costs incurred by Cueball (at a minimum, time and travel) have probably far exceeded what most sheds (and their construction) require, even if the end-goal is a 'free' shed, paid for entirely by NASA.
And this is only during the period that NASA hasn't signed up for the project, having probably committed no more than an hour or three of meeting time for its review board. There is a saying that "if you buy a hammer it costs 6 dollars, but if the US government buys a hammer it costs 600 dollars", highlighting the implied costs of extensive bureaucracy. If NASA was ever interested enough to assign a budget, it would presumably be delayed by steps such as shed design, environmental review, contractor selection and team reallocation, sending the construction costs and timetable even further off.